Could Beastmaster II be the greatest fantasy movie of all time?

Move over , Peter Jackson . Your unstinted Tolkien adaptations can not possibly contend with the bugtastic spectacle that is Beastmaster II : Through The Portal of Time .

severely — Beastmaster II is one of those films you’re able to only just marvel at , in dumbstruck wonder . Just look out our clip reel . This is one of those films that has perfectly everything — there ’s the savage - mastery , behemoth - scrap and sword - wrangling from the first motion-picture show , but there ’s also a Modern , scene - masticating scoundrel . And a trip to 1990s L.A. It take Star Trek four film to call present - day California , but the Beastmaster series got there in two .

Just lay eyes on the awesomeness . include part of the orifice sequence , where Beastmaster is sentenced to death and his animate being rescue him — just watch those ferrets chew through his bonds ! And the bit where the archvillain Arklon hazard to be in passion with the vicious Wiccan for 30 seconds , just for a laughter . And then the witch decide to quote then - prexy George Bush . Awesome ! Also , Arklon gets hassled by street punks , raid up a classy clothing entrepot , and steals some poor shlub ’s memories . It ’s all definitive clobber .

( Oh and yes — the Beastmaster films genius Mark Singer , from the original V. He told us at Wondercon that he really wants to do a cameo if they make a new Beastmaster movie . He can still swing a sword . )

Joe Bob Briggs show this immortal classic on his previous - night TNT show once , and it ’s all on YouTube . Not only do you get to see the learned comment from the headmaster , you also get get to see all the gory detail . It ’s not embeddable , butyou can watch it pop out here . The opening chronological sequence , where Lord Arklon closely beheads the Beastmaster but his pets hold open him , is entirely epic and the only part of the entire movie where the animals get to do much of anything . [ IMDB ]

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