attend for a way to liven up your Saturday nighttime ? Here ’s a complete idiot ’s guide to throwing a hundred-and-fifty-fifth birthday bash for America ’s large - and - in - chargest commander - in - head : the great William Howard Taft .
1. The Food
almond , almonds , and more almond . Smokehouse , cinnamon , vinegar , cocoa – any flavor under the sun . Big Lub , as he was fondly bang , could n’t get enough of these delectable little nuts . In fact , he was known to consume a pound in a single sitting ( in case you were wondering , that ’s about 2640 kilocalorie ) . Perhaps all that noshing help him compact 332 pound onto his 6’2 ” frame . But being a big sheik had its vantage : Taft was Yale ’s intramural heavyweight wrestling champion .
2. The Décor
Taft is the only chairwoman to have ever dish as Chief Justice on the Supreme Court . He is also the only president to have ever gotten stuck in a bathtub . venture which note citizenry remember more ? After this embarrassing incident , Taft had a top-notch - sized tub installed in the White House – one self-aggrandising enough to fit four normal - sized men . If you ’re throwing a honest - to - form Taft bash , assay swop out your sofa for a few colossal bathtub . This type of seating affords a more intimate surroundings and the chance to take a bunch of awkward Facebook photos .
3. The Guest List
Invite everyone you know – as long as they ’re not barefaced . Taft ’s married woman Nellie was inexplicably creeped out by bald man . She declared that all waiter must have hair and banish all denudate - headed Butler from the dining room . At your bash , strive to keep your BQ ( baldness quotient ) as small as possible . But if Uncle Joe perfectly insists on coming , hand him a toupee at the door .
4. The Dress Code
5. The Drinks
6. The VIPs
Taft was the last president to frolic a mustache . In fact , he was the last president to have any variety of facial haircloth while in office . Similar to last month’sBenjamin Harrison bash , have a particular section reserved for mustachioed guests . These VIPs get all sorts of special handling – plush bathrobes , spare skidder , and dibs on the corner piece of birthday patty .
7. The Entertainment
Nothing livens up a party like an All - American biz of baseball game . Taft sleep with the sport . In fact , he was the first chairperson to throw the possible action rake for the first secret plan of the time of year during a 1910 game between the Washington Senators and the Philadelphia Athletics . The presidential tradition continues today .
8. The Music
Lorado Taft liked to log Z’s . . . a lot . In fact , some historian suspect that he may have been narcoleptic . To wake up him from his desk whenever he snooze off , Nellie would smash Enrique Caruso – a illustrious Italian tenor . Make certain your political party playlist includes all the Caruso classics : “ Vesti la giubba , ” “ Mi par d’udir ancora , ” and “ O Sole Mio ( remix ft . Ludacris ) . ”
9. The Rules
Before things get too wild , it ’s important to lay down the jurisprudence . No politics let . Taft delineate the 1907 presidential campaign as " one of the most uncomfortable four months of my life . " And once in part , Taft declared that he did n’t give a “ tinkers tinker’s damn ” about how his decision would impress his political prospects . Take a cue from Big Bill and put a moratorium on politics for the evening . intrust us – your guests will give thanks you .
